I was staying in a Holiday Inn in Bolton on Friday (yes, I know the word "holiday" and "Bolton" don't normally go together), and when I walked into the bathroom noticed that the floor appeared to be covered in shit stains. I was about to complain to the management, when I noticed that whoever had shat all over the floor must have had obsessive compulsive disorder, since the stain was extremely regular on each tile.
Closer examination revealed that the floor was in fact spotless, and that it was simply the pattern on the floor tiles.
I can only assume that the choice of decor was as a result of a senior management meeting at a tiling company, that went something like this:
MD: "Great news, we've just won a big contract with Holiday Inn to supply their bathroom tiles. We can't fuck this up, so let's get a firm of interior design consultants in to advise"...
Next day after a phone call to a hipster consultant from Macaulay Postlethwaite's Interior Design Collective:
MD: "Thanks for coming - we were thinking white tiles are quite timeless and elegant."
Hipster: "No, no, we've done extensive consumer research on this, and white is seen as too clinical."
MD: "Blue, then? Sounds good for a bathroom."
Hipster: "No, makes the bathroom look cold in winter."
MD: "Well what do you suggest?"
Hipster: "After much consideration, I have selected for you an off-beige tile that looks as though it's covered in shit stains."
MD: "Perfect! Thank goodness we called you in, our guys would never have come up with such a genius idea!"
Hipster: "You're welcome. That will be a million pounds please."