I have decided to do my bit for austerity and grow my own hamburgers.
I bought some hamburger seeds from a man in the pub. I asked if he had seeds for chips aswell but he said there's no such thing and I'd have to make my chips out of potatoes. Fortunately he had a cutting from a potato tree which he agreed to sell after some haggling. He also agreed to build a shed for me, and his brother Stanislav is a town planner and his brother Pyotr is a chartered surveyor and his mother George is an architect so he got all that done on the cheap.
His uncle, Dad, is arriving with the concrete mixer tomorrow to lay the foundations.
Ronald McDonald eat your heart out - I'm going independent!