Blog: Memnoch

Posted by Memnoch on 19th March 2012 at 05:25 (6119 Views)
Memnoch's Avatar
MAR
19
2012
My very exciting allotment blog
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Hello everyone.
I have decided to do my bit for austerity and grow my own hamburgers.
I bought some hamburger seeds from a man in the pub. I asked if he had seeds for chips aswell but he said there's no such thing and I'd have to make my chips out of potatoes. Fortunately he had a cutting from a potato tree which he agreed to sell after some haggling. He also agreed to build a shed for me, and his brother Stanislav is a town planner and his brother Pyotr is a chartered surveyor and his mother George is an architect so he got all that done on the cheap.

His uncle, Dad, is arriving with the concrete mixer tomorrow to lay the foundations.

Ronald McDonald eat your heart out - I'm going independent!
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Page 1 of 2 12 Last >>
  1. mini_haha -
    MAR
    19
    2012
    mini_haha's Avatar
    All you need now is a pickle / relish tree
  2. Memnoch -
    MAR
    19
    2012
    Memnoch's Avatar
    According to Mr Tsaichovsky, the variety of hamburger plant that he sold me is host to pickle truffles which grow around the roots, so I've killed two birds with one seed.

    Updated 19th March 2012 at 05:44 by Memnoch
  3. Scrotnig -
    MAR
    20
    2012
    Scrotnig's Avatar
    Hmm you could at least have waited until AFTER I posted my allotment blog before lampooning it.

    I think that's the general idea with satire.
  4. Dordie -
    MAR
    20
    2012
    Dordie's Avatar
    Best way to deal with him is to cut out all advance warning, you know full well what he's like. Another thing....all his remarks are quite true, he did make all those inquiries and is now on a very slow learning curve.
  5. Memnoch -
    MAR
    20
    2012
    Memnoch's Avatar
    StolenThunder
    Hmm you could at least have waited until AFTER I posted my allotment blog before lampooning it.

    I think that's the general idea with satire.
    How can I lampoon something that doesn't exist yet? This is a serious ongoing account of my horticultural endeavours. You're just annoyed because it's interesting.

    Updated 20th March 2012 at 10:04 by Memnoch
  6. Scrotnig -
    MAR
    20
    2012
    Scrotnig's Avatar
    Memnoch
    How can I lampoon something that doesn't exist yet? This is a serious ongoing account of my horticultural endeavours. You're just annoyed because it's interesting.
    Oh. Sorry.
  7. Dordie -
    MAR
    20
    2012
    Dordie's Avatar
  8. Scrotnig -
    MAR
    21
    2012
    Scrotnig's Avatar
    Memnoch
    How can I lampoon something that doesn't exist yet? This is a serious ongoing account of my horticultural endeavours. You're just annoyed because it's interesting.
    Get on with it then!
  9. mini_haha -
    MAR
    21
    2012
    mini_haha's Avatar
    I'm going to send you all my toilet roll inners apparantly they are fabulous for planting your carrot seeds into

    Updated 21st March 2012 at 22:19 by mini_haha
  10. Memnoch -
    MAR
    22
    2012
    Memnoch's Avatar
    Scrotnig
    Get on with it then!
    If you ever want to run an allotment successfully, you are going to have to develop considerably more patience than you are demonstrating with that tetchy remark. I feel you ought to know, it can take up to 11 days to grow a fully mature banoffee pie plant.

    Updated 22nd March 2012 at 09:27 by Memnoch
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