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22nd October 2019 09:25 by Nice Fred
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She's bright, but not all that pretty and a bit of a geek, but I suppose I'd do her if we were stuck on a desert island together.

Would you?

21st October 2019 12:58 by Memnoch
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Surprised David James lasted as long as he did. He dances like my brother who has a similar physique. Children run away crying. Shame he's not going to be in it for Halloween week because they would absolutely have to dress him up as Lurch or Herman Munster.

Apart from Anneka Rice he's the only one of the "celebrities" I've even heard of, and she's gone too so that just leaves people I've never heard of.
Last year was similar. Danny John-Jules, Stacey Dooley and ten Whothefuckareyous?
Anyway, that shouldn't matter if they can dance, and the most entertaining dancer got kicked off last week so what the hell do I know?

I find it interesting that Anton has finally been paired with someone who's not utterly useless, and that's very bad news for him. He has survived as the show's perpetual comic relief, with everyone inevitably fascinated by the complete ineptitude of his partners. But now that he's with someone who can actually dance, we're free to notice that he can't. This could be his last year on the show because he's really letting her down only this time it's obvious he's the reason for their failure as a pair to impress the judges. Don't get me wrong, I know very little about dancing and I have three left feet, but even I can spot a mistake when they're as frequent and blatant as his.

Alex Scott has me a bit baffled. Week one I thought she was great for a novice and really promising. Then for two weeks she was rubbish and should have been in the bottom two last week but the audience let her off after the judges placed her last. This week she improved but still not as good as her first week, which is unforgiveable really as she danced a Charleston and you'd expect a footballer to have some fancy footwork. (Doesn't apply to David because he's a goalie - doesn't play with his feet). But again, what do I know... the judges thought she was brilliant.

The Countess whateverhernameis is competent but lazy. She has many obvious habits and so has clearly been dancing at a fixed level for a long time and won't improve. It's like asking someone who's been playing chess at club level for forty years to suddenly become a grandmaster. This type of competition favours novices because they have more scope to improve week after week and that's what the audience likes. People with experience have to work a lot harder to make noticeable gains.

Which brings me to Michelle Visage. She's obviously danced before, and you can tell she's really listening to the judges and working her butt off to improve. When she's in her comfort zone she's great but she's starting to struggle with material she's less familiar with.

Speaking of judges... Motsi Mabuse? Sister of a competitor? Conflict of interest... much? I find her comments vague and unhelpful. She doesn't sound like she knows what she's talking about. She uses the same words as the other judges but in much the same way parsonstreet uses science words. "You need to work on your top line". Yeah? How? What's wrong with it? What do you want me to do? What is a top line anyway?

Kevin Fletcher. In danger of being a one trick pony. Wows the audience with his rubber hips but it aint all Latin.

Will Bayley. Receives nothing but patronising platitudes from the judges. Hard to see how he's going to learn to dance when they don't give him any constructive critique, just keep bowing to the pedestal of the token disabled person.

Mike Bushell. Dad dancer. Kids dying of embarrassment. Nuff said.

Karim Whatsisname. Knows a couple of breakdance moves. Yawn.

Saffron Nobody. Fat chav. No talent.

Skeletal woman who was apparently in Coronation Street. Should do well next week because she doesn't need a costume to look scary. Otherwise entirely unnoticeable.

Emma Barton. Thinks it's all a bit of a giggle because she's been partnered with a clown. Could do well if she had a decent mentor.

Chris Ramsey. I thought he was playing it for laughs but no, I'm reliably informed he really does think what he's doing is sexy.

Is that everyone? Maybe. Most of them are just so hard to notice. If I were a betting man I'd be tempted to have a punt on Michelle or Kevin to win. But I didn't agree with last year's result one little bit and I assume the voting audience hasn't changed much so I'll stay out of the bookie's shop.

20th October 2019 23:06 by Bill. MC
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Well maybe someone did and posted it as fake news. It would be nice to know if indeed it is fake news.

Despite the austerity cut backs on policing the Humberside police are wasting scare resources investigating the potential “hate crime” of a transgender woman being turned down for a porn role because she still has a penis.


20th October 2019 22:41 by Scrotnig
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I haven't put a quiz in for ages so here's a Halloween one.

What Part of a Pumpkin Spice Latte Are You?

19th October 2019 16:57 by Dordie
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That's where the Mitchell bloke was hiding after Leicester went a goal down, he was facing a kick in the guts from Phil. Luckily for him they won in the end.

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