This is on the front pages of all today's newspapers ...
Police were called to Tory leadership contender Boris Johnson's flat after neighbours reported a loud row.
Boris's girlfriend Carrie Symonds was heard saying "get off me" and "get out of my flat".
Was an excess of liquid refreshment a factor in the disturbance? Well "Ms Symons is allegedly heard saying the MP had ruined a sofa with red wine".
And this is the man who is going to be running the country? He isn't fit to run a parish council.
Jesus H. Christ on stilts!