Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy
Started by Scrotnig, 16th November 2018 11:29 in Pets, Wildlife & Gardens

  1. #1 | 2094408
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    Default Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy

    This is old but always a good read.

    To go outside, and there perchance to stay
    Or to remain within: that is the question:
    Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer
    The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
    That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,
    Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
    And so by dozing melt the solid hours
    That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
    And stall the dinner bell. To sit, to stare
    Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
    A wish to venture forth without delay,
    Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
    As if transfixed by doubt. To prowl; to sleep;
    To choose not knowing when we may once more
    Our readmittance gain: aye, there's the hairball;
    For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
    Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
    And going out and coming in were made
    As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
    What cat would bear the household's petty plagues,
    The cook's well-practised kicks, the butler's broom,
    The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears,
    The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
    That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
    He might his exodus or entrance make
    With a mere mitten? Who would spaniels fear,
    Or strays trespassing from a neighbour's yard,
    But that the dread of our unheeded cries
    And scratches at a barricaded door
    No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
    And makes us rather bear our humans' faults
    Than run away to unguessed miseries?
    Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
    And thus the bristling hair of resolution
    Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
    And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
    We pause upon the threshold of decision.

    -Shakespaw
    Please note that any pointing out of abuse in this post is both intentional and deserved.

    Anyone that feels the need to swear at me for pointing out abuse is clearly a leftie whos been bested in an argument and whos also insulting YOUR intelligence by pointing out the bleeding obvious as if you were too dumb to notice it.

    This has been a public service announcement by Scrotnig. Have a nice abuse-free day.


  2. #2 | 2094414
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    Default Re: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy

    Brilliant! Do you know who wrote it? (And don't say "Shakespaw"!!)

  3. #3 | 2094432
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    Default Re: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy

    Chris Mitchell
    Brilliant! Do you know who wrote it? (And don't say "Shakespaw"!!)
    Unsure...it's quite an old meme that did the rounds some years back.
    Please note that any pointing out of abuse in this post is both intentional and deserved.

    Anyone that feels the need to swear at me for pointing out abuse is clearly a leftie whos been bested in an argument and whos also insulting YOUR intelligence by pointing out the bleeding obvious as if you were too dumb to notice it.

    This has been a public service announcement by Scrotnig. Have a nice abuse-free day.
    Liked by: Chris Mitchell


  4. #4 | 2094655
    3X3 Triad Writer
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    Default Re: Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy

    The More People I Have Known,
    The More I Loved My TwoWhiteSocks.

 


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