Dear Employees:

It has been brought to managementís attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative ďTRY SAYINGĒ phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could do with more training.
INSTEAD OF: You donít have a f*cking clue, do you?

2) TRY SAYING: Sheís an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: Sheís a f*cking power-crazy b*tch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: Iím certain that isnít feasible.
INSTEAD OF: F*ck off a*se-wipe.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: Well f*ck me backwards with a telegraph pole.

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check withÖ
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a f*ck.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasnít involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: Not my f*cking problem, mate.

8) TRY SAYING: Thatís interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f*ck?

9) TRY SAYING: Iím not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
INSTEAD OF: No f*cking chance mate.

10) TRY SAYING: It will be tight, but Iíll try to schedule it in.
NSTEAD OF: Why the f*ck didnít you tell me that yesterday?

11) TRY SAYING: Heís not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: Heís got his head up his f*cking a*se.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Oi, f*ck face.

13) TRY SAYING: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway.
INSTEAD OF: Yeah, who needs f*cking holidays anyway.

Thank You,
Human Resources